The Bloom Living Podcast

Building A Business by Facing Myself | Amber Vilhauer S05 - EP03

July 07, 2020 Thomas DeSchutter Season 5 Episode 3
The Bloom Living Podcast
Building A Business by Facing Myself | Amber Vilhauer S05 - EP03
Show Notes Transcript

Amber Vilhauer is an online digital marketing expert who supports authors, speakers and coaches to establish a powerful integrated online presence that gets results and empowers them to make a difference in their industry. Since starting her agency NGNG enterprises standing for no guts, no glory. She has spent her career impacting her community and building strong strategic alliances with industry leaders and game-changers across the web. Amber has supported more than 1000 entrepreneurs on six continents to get results. She's the Launch Manager behind dozens of number one best selling books including those from Mark Victor Hansen. Brendon Bouchard. Lisa Nichols and, Les Brown.

08:48 - "The first time I reinvented myself was when I was 16. Rock Bottom moment. I would say there was a moment when I was 18 when I started to see who I really was. There was a moment when I was 25, where I had to face myself again and I had to create the next version of Amber. And then I would say probably when I achieved burnout, that would be around 34. So a handful of times."

09:31 - "It's the most magnificent, remarkable journey. Life is crazy. Especially adulthood. And Thomas, I tell my parents, I said, "Gosh, I felt so unprepared for what it's really like to be an adult." As a kid, you're just like, I can't wait to have my own house, my own car and listen to my own music and do my own thing, and that is an amazing freedom that hopefully, we don't take for granted ever. But man It is complex, and how we keep needing to polish ourselves and go deeper within ourselves and, and observe the patterns and make new choices. And there's no finish line. It's just there's just this deepening that keeps occurring. It's amazing.

Find Amber here:
Instagram: @ambervilhauer
Facebook: NGNG Enterprises
Website: ambervilhauer.com
LinkedIn: Amber Vilhauer
Twitter: Amber Vilhauer

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the BloomLiving Podcast, Bloom Strategies, or Thomas DeSchutter

Thomas:

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Unknown:

Today's podcast is brought to you by Thomas DeSchutter Business Success Coaching. Are you ready to experience your business thriving? Or maybe you're already thriving, and you want a better system for managing your cash flow. The truth is, you need to be setup to win and winning is all about the process. Being certified Cash Flow Specialists and Profit First Professionals, Thomas DeSchutter Business Success Coaching will put you on track to win big. Check the show notes to get your free consultation or go to thomasdeschutter.com

Thomas:

Oh yeah, it's good to be back. I'm your host Thomas DeSchutter and today joining me on the bloom living podcast is Amber Ville How're you know, it was so great about recording this with Amber was just how to the point and direct she is with her answers. There's no there's no hiding. It's absolute transparency. And I all I really felt like she really appreciated, direct questions that she could just dive into and allow an answer without having to you know think Oh, am I saying the right thing or or should I say it this way none of that was going on. It was this is just her being her. Here's her bio. Amber Vilauer is an online digital marketing expert who supports authors, speakers and coaches to establish a powerful integrated online presence that gets results and empowers them to make a difference in their industry. Since starting your agency NGNG enterprises standing for I love this. No guts, no glory. She has spent her career impacting your community and building strong strategic alliances with industry leaders and game changers across the web. Amber has supported more than 1000 entrepreneurs on six continents to get results. That's a lot. She's the Launch Manager behind dozens of number one best selling books including those from Mark Victor Hansen. Brendon Bouchard. Lisa Nichols and Les Brown. Welcome to the show. Amber Vilhauer.

Unknown:

Hello, I'm so excited to be here.

Thomas:

Yeah, it's great. And I wanted to before we kick off a couple things. One is I have a feeling I forgot to say. Thank you.

Unknown:

Ah, sorry, Eagle. Yep. Like I've got one behind me too. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for this. My Eagles name is faith. Beautiful. And, actually, this morning, I was listening to an audiobook Richard whammies, who is a writer, an indigenous person from Canada. He's world renowned for his writings. He's now passed away. But his book one drum. He tells these, it's this the stories of seven fathers, the seven grandfathers that outline how we are to live. And every one of them he sets up with a story So he's talking about the eagle this morning. It's interesting how that chapter came up this morning. It's the eagle and the eagle feather. And what it takes for an eagle to learn how to soar starts with that faith of first jumping out of the nest and trust. Mm hmm. Yeah. And so I was I love that I had named my Eagle faith. And then that was,

Amber Vilhauer:

that is so it's so beautiful. Well, it came to be two years ago, I what, two, three years ago, hard to remember. Um, regardless, I was having one of these moments, Thomas, where I was really just facing myself. And I was frustrated in my business, because I had burnt out about a year and a half prior, and I felt like I was trying everything to figure out like, what was I missing and I was so frustrated. And it turns out, I just kind of engineered I had built the wrong model for my business and I was the center of have everything and I had to learn those very hard lessons. And it was this moment, though, where I just felt like I, what was I missing? And I went into this chest that I have, and it's full of old papers and emails, and thank you cards from clients. And I was digging through him and I was trying to figure out like, what is my gift? What is my talent? You know, what is the point? What am I even doing? You know, it's just funny. We have these moments. So I read in all of these incredible letters. And it pointed me to some things about myself that I had just sort of taken for granted, the gifts that we have that we think well, everybody's like that. So, you know, let me focus on the challenge of it all because that's what we're like conditioned to do somehow. And in this moment, I really saw this ability to soar at heights. You know, I saw these things coming together. I think saw my efficiency. I saw that my brain thinks in structure and I can figure out the fastest way to do things without sacrificing quality. And I started seeing how I'm, I'm always like building relationships, and I'm helping other people soar. And this all came to be and I started madly writing down like my mission and my vision and who was I? What were my strengths? And if I had to pick a spirit animal, what would I pick? And it was just like this flash in my mind that saw this beautiful majestic Eagle. And I saw that, you know, the more I dug into the meaning of an eagle, you know, like your spiritual meaning you can Google it and you can find out all kinds of cool things. But what I was looking at is the the eagle can soar to heights that others merely dream of, that that that they they have this wingspan, that means that they don't have to work as hard as other birds. And they're soaring at these incredible heights. But their eyes are so sharp, they can see these details. And I started to see how in my business, I have this visionary mind. I'm very creative. I'm very innovative. But one of the things that clients love about me is that not only do I see the vision, but I understand the finest details of how to get things done. Therefore, I can bridge the gap, I can create a structure or an action plan to get from vision into execution and deliver that to a client so their team can get things done. And so I went forward, I know this long story, you're learning a lot about me here. But I went for it. And I asked my team to design me, the eagle that I saw in my mind, and what I love about the eagle is that it's facing forward. You know, this vision is off to the side it's facing forward into the future. But there are these two slashes right here. You might want to hold it up again, just so people can see it. You slashes right. They're on its shoulder. And to me that represents the scars of our past that it wasn't an easy journey. Right? We had to have some really brutal learning lessons, my goodness. But out of those brutal challenges and learning moments, comes this most amazing opportunity in the future. And now that became a representative for everything that I do moving forward. And I just love it. So what you have is like a little gift I have these made, every time somebody becomes a member of my leverage to scale community and my product, I mail them an eagle.

Thomas:

It's very nice. I'm curious. How many times have you had to reinvent yourself?

Amber Vilhauer:

That's a good question. The first time was when I was 16. Rock Bottom moment. I would say there was a moment when I was 18 when I started to really See who I really was. Um, there was a moment when I was 25, where I had to face myself again and I had to create the next version of Amber. And then I would say probably when I achieved burnout, that would be around 34. So a handful of times,

Thomas:

yeah. Fascinating, isn't it?

Amber Vilhauer:

It's the most magnificent, remarkable journey. Life is crazy. Especially adulthood. And Thomas, I tell my parents, I said, Gosh, I felt so unprepared for what it's really like to be an adult. As a kid, you're just like, I can't wait to have my own house, my own car and listen my own music and do my own thing. And that is amazing freedom that hopefully we don't take for granted ever. But man is It is complex, and how we keep needing to polish ourselves and go deeper within ourselves and, and observe the patterns and make new choices. And there's no finish line. It's just there's just this deepening that keeps occurring. It's amazing. Mm hmm.

Thomas:

So I'm curious about something because it sounds like you know, we're kind of similar. I do a lot of, I do a lot of inner work, constantly reevaluating my space in this planet, what I'm here to do, and I guess maybe if heard of phrase that more accurately would be to examine how I show up and how other people might perceive me. Because that's, you know, you can you can, you can walk into a room like a, you know, a bowl and a china shop and just bust everything up. Or you can walk in a room with grace and so that's, you know, that's that interview. reflection. So when you're working with clients, and maybe they don't have that, like do you end up is that I guess there's two parts of this because, you know, we want to pick the people that we want to work with. And so do you get people that want to work with you that maybe aren't in that space and are always looking outside for the fix as opposed to going within first? And if you do, how do you manage through that so that you can start to pull stuff out of the van and get to get the ball rolling?

Amber Vilhauer:

love this question, love it. I would say in the early years, because I started my business back in 2007. In the early years, it was a total mixed bag. I would get people that I really deeply resonated with and it was just like fireworks going off. And then I would have clients where it's like, there was no connection. There was nothing in common. It was nice Right like nice pleasant exchanges, but it was, I wasn't I didn't find significant meaning in the project, I didn't find significant meaning in the relationship. So, God project done, they would mosey on. They were happy, that's fine. But I I asked myself about two years, then I thought, How do I get more of those people where it's like the fireworks going off? I started to really look at and observe those relationships. And what I first saw is that the pattern was there were a lot of authors and speakers. I love authors and speakers because they have a message to share. They believe in other people, they want to get that message out. They want to change the world, at least the authors and speakers I was attracting in at that time. And so I decided number one to say I build websites and do book launches and marketing for authors and speakers. And that helped, but then still kind of mixed bag a little bit and I thought wow, I get more of the fireworks. And what I saw next is that if I go really deeper and I really know myself, and I start to put that real self out in the world through my email marketing and my social media, then what would happen is I would I would attract in people that liked that. And so I started then integrating more video because I saw that with video, I could develop more personal connection faster, even though I wasn't actually there. And the more I could just be myself with my hand movements and my energy and my smile and my enthusiasm and my passion, right, this is genuine rah amber right now. The more I put that out there, if somebody saw my video, and they thought, oh, gosh, she's obnoxious, she's like, so happy, gross. They would just they wouldn't mosey on and I wouldn't even know that that person exists, but the right People would think, gosh, there's something about that Amber. She just makes me feel so good. She lights me up. She makes me feel like anything is possible. I like her. I want more people like that in my life. I'm going to pick up the phone and call her. I don't even know if she does, but I'm going to buy it and I just want to work with her. And that's honestly it would kind of start to happen that way. When like attracts like, right? The more you are yourself, you're going to attract people that that beat that same drum that hear that same tune. And now Thomas, all of these years later in my business, it is like fireworks going off all day, every single day. My team fireworks I hire based on core values, my clients, fireworks, my colleagues fireworks everywhere. It I'm living proof that it's possible. I think the answer is in allowing yourself to be really you to the world. It's scary at first but then you get used to it and then it's about

Thomas:

Yeah, yeah, you know what's great about that, and even brought in some instruments is that I was, you know, for much of my younger life I was a musician and rock bands and touring and making records. And I've always in business now I have always seen business from the angle of a musician. And I love what you said that if you know you're not going to go support a band where you don't get into their music. So if an artist is pouring out their heart and soul delivering their This is it like and if you're if you're going to go, if you're going to buy the record, that's what you're going to get. And if you're going to go see the live, that's what you're going to get. It's not going to be anything different. And so there's some music I'll listen to, and some bands I'll go support and some that I want. Yeah, as opposed to trying to be all things to everybody.

Unknown:

Yeah, and you don't have to be the world's a huge place, right? And it gives me confidence and it actually it's relief that I don't have to be all things to all people. I'm actually writing a book about this right now. And the working title is elevate every experience, develop personal connection to scale your influence, right? And when you're writing a book, it's kind of like adulthood, and it's surprising how complicated it is like how hard and as I was writing this book, I just kept going deeper and deeper and deeper into my belief system and what was at the core, and at the very core, if you want to have influence if you want to skyrocket business success, the core that I found as it starts with identifying who you would be proud to be if you can step into somebody that you would be proud to be, the rest unfolds in magical ways that it's not about the funnel. It's not about the sale. It's not about the culture necessarily. The culture comes out of the owner of Who would you be proud to be? That's where it begins. And I did. I didn't know this when I was born right? 16 years old. I wasn't somebody that I was proud of not even close. I was not doing well in school, I was making bad decisions. I was lying. I was getting grounded, because I felt worthless inside. And I I my my reality matched the darkness and the ugliness that I felt on the inside, totally self created didn't realize that at the time I was young, but then I thought, who would I be proud to be? And every time I made a decision based on that version of Amber, my life got better, a little bit easier, a little bit better, a little bit easier. more money, more likability, more passion, more fulfillment, more of everything I ever wanted. So that's what I think is at the core of business success.

Thomas:

So Where do you go to find this? within yourself? Do you have a process for that? Do you have a way of being everyday?

Amber Vilhauer:

Who you'd be proud to be? You mean?

Thomas:

Yeah, like, do you have like even even on the the, the reinventing of yourself when you've gone through that when you've done that, what does that look like if somebody was listening to this right now or watching this and they're like, Okay, great. That's awesome. Thank you. I don't even know where to start. Sure. What is something you do that allows you to start unfolding or start understanding that?

Amber Vilhauer:

Great question. It's not like you can design this perfect person and step into that person tomorrow. It's not the way it works. We make how many hundreds of decisions every single day, maybe thousands. I don't know how to even track that. We're constantly making decisions. I'm making a choice right now. Do I want to be present? In this moment and give this my all and make this deeper connection with Thomas or do I want to be stressed and distracted and I'm thinking about all the other things that I have to do right now and I'm kind of like only sort of here, everything is a choice, right? I'm not always going to make the right choices for myself or for the people around me. Why? Because I'm human. Okay, so humans is wired perfect, right? perfection doesn't exist, but you do have to have a level of awareness. Okay, so here's, I guess what I do. I look at the contrast, right? Um, I could make a choice to wake up at 5am and workout, or I could make a choice to wake up at 6am and start my day without working out. Which which choice what I would equate into a person that I would be proud to be. I would be proud to be somebody who has a workout routine. I would think Not Be proud to be somebody who slept in. Okay, well, then that's pretty simple, right? What it's like that all day long, it literally comes down to an awareness. Okay, so I'm in front of my kid, I have a choice, I could be somebody who is on my phone thinking about work or responding to emails while my kid is right in front of me playing or I could put the phone in a different room and really be there and let my kid know that I see him. And I value him. And this is where I want to spend my time. It's a choice. I'm not always going to make the right choices. But you can kind of by using these as guiding principles, who would I be proud to be in this moment with the person or the thing that's in front of me right now. And if you just take these little incremental measures, it builds into this experience of being somebody that's pretty awesome, huh?

Thomas:

Yeah, I love what you said there's little steps, right? It's not you don't need to change Everything and it's not like you're saying everybody needs to be present with their kid or everybody needs to know or everybody needs to have a workout routine. It's that you're saying for you to be proud of the person that you want to be to have that moment of, Hey, I feel good about myself. I would rather be somebody that works out and doesn't work out.

Amber Vilhauer:

Yeah, like if, if you are proud of yourself, stuffing your face with potato chips all day long and you feel good in your body. Then dude, more power to you. This is your one and only life. I'm just saying be proud of yourself. That's literally it because when you feel good inside the people around you feel good. And you know what, that's a responsibility that I started taking very seriously after I saw very plainly how my worthless feeling was translating into pain and dysfunction and the relationships around me and I thought wow, that's not cool. Like, that is horrible. I wouldn't want to inflict pain on people around me. And I started taking responsibility for my own energy, my own experience that I was giving to other people. And then I had to do some work to resolve the shame that I felt about that. But you know, over the years, I turned into somebody that I am proud of, and that changed all of my relationships. I can tell you with 1,000,000% certainty, that is the reason that my first ever business is still around 13 plus years later, and we have an amazing reputation. We've worked with amazing clients, my team is loyal and committed and happy like, this isn't. This is what's possible, you know, it's just amazing what unfolds.

Thomas:

Yeah, you know, I want to go back to the potato chips because it's my kryptonite. And so I used to shame myself for out eating potato chips, and then I have this A really good friend who has become a really good friend. And we were she was, she was doing a little bit of coaching with me and we were talking about potato chips. And she's like, Look, if you're gonna have potato chips, that just enjoy the heck out of them when you're having them. Thank you, you might as well right and so ever since then it's been night and day because I don't, it's like, I'm gonna I am eating potato chips. That's the way it is. I don't care. And I'm going to love it right now, because that's what I'm doing. And then I'll deal with it later as to how I feel about it later. I'll process that later. But right now, I'm in it. I'm loving it good for the potato chips.

Amber Vilhauer:

Oh, no. Yeah. And something I have to follow up with as a disclaimer here. Is that what I'm, what I'm not saying is that if you are proud of who you are, your life is perfect and everything, all the challenges go away, right? I have challenges I have, I have things that are messy in my mind or in my heart that I Trying to resolve right? Because I'm human. So once again, this isn't some formula for perfection or total fulfillment and happiness. You know, life gives us the yin and the yang. It's it's balanced. Nature teaches us that you have the sunny days you have the rainy days, they can both be beautiful. There's, there's lesson and growth and experience and beauty and both the sunshine and the rain. Right. Um, but I do want to make that clear, because I don't I don't value people that try to paint this picture like everything can be perfect. That's I don't think that that's right.

Thomas:

Yeah, I I agree that there's, you know, here's how I, here's how I look at it now is the idea is, I'm going to have upset, I'm going to have challenges, most of which are my own perception of things and how I'm processing it in my mindset around it and it comes down is how quickly can I actually recreate that experience into opportunity? How quickly can I get myself off of the complaining the suffering, the pain, whatever it is, experience it like not, I'm not talking about putting a rose garden over top of a mud pie. I'm talking about owning the mud pie. And then moving into the next, the next thing I'm going to take on as opposed to wallowing in it. And sometimes I love to wallow, I'll you know, hey, sometimes I'm a good wallflower. Like, no, I want a day of suffering here. Allow me my day. So buddy, I know.

Unknown:

You have to lean in. That's what I've, if I start to feel, you know, a pain body, a fear coming up. I have that awareness. It always comes back to awareness, I think, Oh my gosh, these are really unpleasant feelings. And instead of just putting on the happy music or, you know, turning the page on thought or feeling I thought I'm gonna lean into this, explore it get messy with it for a minute see what's what this is really about. And then I usually have an aha, I can reframe it and move on from it. And it's the more we do that, the more you're conditioning yourself into this process of experiencing, learning, letting go, you know, not necessarily needing to keep reliving the same thing, right? I think the faster you lean in, you can really use that to as a strength even in your business.

Thomas:

Mm hmm. I want to go back to something and how we first met, for example, which was the elevat series that you did, and the reason I want to talk about it is because being a business owner or running a business, no matter what the size of your business is pivoting, and being able to adapt is so incredibly important. And I you know, I don't know how your business was affected. Did with COVID from my perspective COVID happened and you jumped into action on something and decided you were going to do this elevate series? Where did that come from? What was you know, what was it that you were feeling that that wanted you to do that? And then And then secondly, where do you get the gumption to just do

Unknown:

great questions. So right before COVID head, business was booming, I had hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of proposals that we're about to go through any moment. I mean, the my my word of mouth was coming in with full force. And it was a very exciting time my year was stacked. I had travel and speaking and vacations and things and, you know, I was proud of myself that this was the year and Remember, in March, I had some setbacks really. In the year two, I had pneumonia, I thought at the time. Yeah, very likely. I'm seven weeks of that, and just trying to manage my miracles with all of the business coming in. And then all of a sudden, COVID head, and my husband was the first to really tell me, he's a firefighter. So he he knows about things about a day or two before it seems like the rest of the world does. And I'll never forget, it was a Friday, Friday morning. And Jason had just come home from work. And he kind of like had this very serious look on his face. And he knows like, I don't watch the news. I don't buy into stuff like I have goodness to spread in the world. And he came home and said, I want you to know that things are about to change. And I remember feeling like why are you ruining my day with this? It's morning time. Like could you wait a day The afternoon. And it scared me the way he said it. He said travel is going to change and this is going to unfold next week. So anyway, I had the weekend to think about it, and just not knowing what was really ahead. And then by Wednesday, that was, you know, President Trump's address to our nation. And then, man, by that Wednesday, everything changed. And I remember just feeling this heaviness, this responsibility, this moment of like, my ready to step into this, and the answer was, yes, there was never a doubt there was just, it's time to lead in a way that I've never led before. Feeling emotional is remembering back to it. So what I did was I, I put a little bit of a wall around my emotions, and I let that kind of hang out to the side because I needed To be disciplined, and I didn't want to be derailed by my emotions too much now I'm a highly emotional person. So it was like, it's time to be serious. You know, I really need all of my resources just focused discipline. The first thing I did was I called an emergency meeting with my team. Let them openly express their feelings told them what what the road ahead was going to look like told them that their jobs are secure. Second thing I did cleared my schedule completely and had calls with clients starting with the ones that were investing the most with us, and just doing whatever they needed well beyond the scope of what they originally hired me for just to secure those relationships. Next thing I started thinking about my marketing thinking, what did I need to change what was inconsistent what was not the kind of messaging I'd want to put out there during this crisis? tweaked that this all happened within a day or two max because Things unfolded very quickly. By the next day Thursday. I was having a call with my mentor and I said, I feel this, this calling to lead. I need to do something people are going to be freaked out about this. I just felt it. And I said, I think I just should start this live stream series. Ken said, I love it do it. That day, I put it in motion. I think in general, when people sit on something for too long, they'll start unraveling it, talking themselves out of it. So I'm a fast start right Colby? I'm faster. I conditioned myself to take immediate action so that my humaneness I can't back out of it right, because I have a gift and I need to get that gift out to the world. It's my responsibility to carry that out. So we started the elevate series and on Friday, I sent out a handful of invites to about 20 people. I knew that were powerful influential speakers because I wanted the biggest impact possible. By Sunday I had 30 people committed and referrals started coming in, right so Dr. Mukhtar Katyn Suki Booker recommended me to you, which was I'm so grateful for that. By the end of two weeks, I had interviewed more than 40 speakers, my reach grew by 4,000%. Like this thing just started going viral. And what I said was I wanted to help people mentally and professionally during this time, what do they need to focus on? What How can we keep, keep them calm, keep them focused, and an exchange of value, please donate to COVID and economic relief organizations. Honestly, I think that the when you step out of self and you step into service, it's very clear there's no wondering what to do. What's the strategy, how's it going to work? Does anybody care? Those questions don't come up. Those questions only come up when you're focused on self, oh my god, what am I going to look like? What is this going to mean for me? Should I be asking people to opt into my email list or buy my stuff? Or what's the strategy? How am I going to come across? I could have cared less about all of that. I just I just kept thinking about people that their lives were getting just in ruins. I mean, homeschooling like boom, now your homeschool teacher Oh, and you have to figure out your business and you have to make this money and, and, and, and all of your dreams for this year just got completely ripped away. And now we have to adapt. So I don't know. It was just it was in service. It was a calling. It was a requirement. I was just the vessel. That's all.

Thomas:

Yeah, thank you for that. So I'm curious then. How do you think that happens? allowed you to get through this for yourself.

Amber Vilhauer:

You know, it's been an interesting past several months, I will say, when I went live with the elevat series, there was a two week period of time where my business the new business stopped. I mean, it was so hard and so cold and shocking, like there was just all of those proposals died immediately, there was no new inquiry. And I feel fortunate that only two clients out of the many that we have had to back out of their their agreement, which understandable they were in the speaking industry and like their whole business collapsed. So it was fine. But what happened was I spent about that must have been a month and a half, possibly almost two months, just keeping those emotions off to the side focused on serving folks. On leading focused on directing and making sure that everybody around me was okay. There were some things that had been big shifts happening in my personal life, just family that I needed to support and different kinds of ways. And what my misstep was, is I stopped taking care of myself. And I just kept focusing outward. And what happened was into May I actually started feeling hardened. And it was not a familiar feeling to me. And I felt almost emotionless. And that is not familiar to me. And I thought, What the hell is wrong with like, What is going on? Am I depressed like, and at this time, by the way, there was that two weeks of silence and then my business just boomed in a different way. I opened up in new division there, all of these things happen. I've hired five people like, you know, I was in In the midst of trying to manage all of this, but I just felt hardened. And I don't like that feeling like my heart is one of my favorite things about me. It's just so open and pure and loving. And it's not that I stopped being loving, I stopped feeling that connection, which had I'd been I've grown to rely on for decision making and you know, ideation and creativity. So then what you saw into the end of May was I had to face the fact that I had made decisions to get to this place and I didn't regret those decisions. Because I secured my team and my family and my community and my clients and my relationships. I did all of the things that I needed to do to be the leader. And I knew that I had to do some work on self. So I actually went out of town for five days I booked a cabin in the mountains and I left and I've never gone away by myself before, and there was a deafening silence. But finally, these feelings started to surface and the first one that surfaced was grief. And I was grieving, not knowing when I'd see my dad again, I was grieving relationships with friends that I don't know if I'll ever see them again, if we aren't going to these locations to do these events, you know, and just grieving the year I thought I was going to have and missing time with my husband and grieving, you know, the loneliness that I had felt because I hadn't given time to myself, you know, so all of these beautiful feelings came out it was brutal. But at the end of that, I felt like I could feel in my heart again, there was that flow again. So I mentioned all of this response to your question because you you have different roles and responsibilities that you have to play. There's a discipline that has to happen if you want to secure things that you know are important to you. But if I had to do it all over again, and I have a feeling that I might this fall, I am going to come up with a plan where I can really still carve out little bits of self care time. So I don't have to get into that hardened state. I think that was my learning lesson.

Thomas:

Yeah, thank you for that. That was really kind of you to share that. Well. You know, back to that book, one drum I was that I still haven't listened to. It's amazing to me. Life is life is hilarious to me. Because it's, you know, I'm not I'm not I'm, there's two parts to this. There's like that, you know, it was I don't believe it was meant to be like, you know, oh, that was meant to happen. But I do believe it was meant to happen. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, I don't believe that was pre planned. I just believe that. Whatever shifts I made or whatever energies I put out there. Actually secure that very thing happening. Right. So, so anyhow, he talks about vision quest and what a real vision quest is. And, you know, he also says there's a lot of companies that have marketed these vision quests that aren't real vision quests. Totally. And, and, and so what, like, I now want to do this, and I want to do it the way I know I want to do it the way he laid it out, which was to find a place in the wilderness that you like, and get a blanket and basically, bring some for him it's bring, bring a little bit of tobacco and some cotton as gifts. Right? And, and you you make you make these promises, and then you sew it all together on one string. And this is your gratitude back to Mother Earth because tobacco is really hard to grow apparently. So for indigenous culture. Tobacco has a lot of value as a gift. And there's some breath work. That you do but then you sit on your blanket all night in the wilderness awake and you face the darkness and the thoughts that you know there might be bears or cougars or because where I live there's cougars there's, there's animals that would you know, see me as meal some time right? Right. So to get out and actually have that on your own and face that fear of all night sitting out on your blanket, and I know you went away for five days I'm not comparing them but that you basically what you did is you went off on your own to assess out what amber needed and and I see such a gift in being able to do that to just go off and have that moment of time with yourself to confront. You know, as you said, that hardened piece of you that you needed to you want to understand and wanted to heal in a way.

Unknown:

It was tough to make the choice in the first place. It took my husband probably five days of convincing me. What I find interesting is that you get in such autopilot and if you get so tight, like no, I have to send this newsletter, I have to do these things in my business. Nobody else can do them. I have to do them. It's my responsibility. And it's just like, kind of crazy talk a little bit but you get so so tight around what you think is necessary in your business or in life, too. Right? Um, but I think just the conversations, he had this, like, Amber, you need this, it's okay. And I thought, No, but what about my son, I need to be there for my son, I need to be there for you What's going to happen, you know, and when he said it, like we've got you you've been taking care of us, like let us take care of you in this way. And so it took a little bit of, you know, convincing myself until then, I just got so excited. I couldn't wait to do it. And when I got there I just remember it being the quietest quiet I've ever heard because my, you know, you have a toddler at home and two dogs and there's just constant noise and activity. And it was an adjustment to just be with myself. And, you know, so yeah, I definitely recommend it. Now you don't have to go away for lots of days, right? But even if you have moments of pocket in a day to just be with you forget your phone, put it down for a second just be with self what comes up. And don't be quick to just rush it aside. We're always so rushed all the time, right? And I am too so you know, preaching the wire. But there's something really powerful in being able to just really own what's coming up for you what's inside, what you've buried, what you've denied. we deny experiences, we deny ourself of things that we need, we justify Right like this happens constantly so being able to give that aired out a little bit, you'll be really pleased with what comes out on the other end.

Thomas:

Yeah, pushing this stuff down, right. You know, in November I did a 24 hour Silent Retreat. And woof just like there's a there's really cool there's this place like two blocks from my house that I've never been to called the Bethlehem center and it's actually a spiritual center. And so I booked a room there they feed you and in the eating area and says, you know, please be respectful. Some people may be practicing a Silent Retreat here like it's actually set up for this. It was like, Wow, so I went and it was it was awesome. I meditated a lot. And I just was, you know, no technology and no speaking, no talking, just silence. No journaling.

Unknown:

Nice level. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Because at least, I mean, when I was out was listening to a lot of music and it was mostly piano. Mm hmm. Something about piano now in my ever since I was 36. So two years now, piano is now my go to, and there's not a lot of other instrumental in the background. It's just piano and it just it gives me a rhythm in my life internally somehow it's beautiful. So I don't know if it were total total silence. That'd be really tough.

Thomas:

It was actually it wasn't. I thought so too. It really wasn't. It was actually Wow, it was actually fantastic. It was

Unknown:

a kid told me about that Kate told me when we first met many years ago, Kate was really my one of my first independent clients. I had been working with these two other companies, one launching their books, the other was project management, the web development, and I had started my own little website, and I was writing about the things that I learned and I also Except the second website that was around decision making and teaching teens, you know how to make better decisions. And Kate and her business partner Julia at the time found that website miraculously through Google, and they reached out wondering if I could support their this blog thing that they were doing called conscious divas. And that's how I met Kate so many years ago. She's one of my very, very first client so knowing you through her it's like extra special.

Thomas:

Thank you. Yeah, you've let's talk a little bit about your business because you've you've built like 640 websites now on on I'm so terrible with what's the platform? WordPress Yes, thank you WordPress sites. Yeah, there were those who

Unknown:

didn't know that.

Thomas:

And, and but now here's what I actually love that you're one of your areas of focus now is viral live streaming now that's like that hasn't been around for You know, ever so this is new. So, you know, and so what can you share without giving away all the all the gifts? But what can you share about viral live streaming, like as somebody, you know, wants to start even just putting their face out there? What are some takeaways? What are some some little things they can do to make a difference?

Amber Vilhauer:

Yeah, I'm really excited about this right now. I started learning about live streaming a year ago. And I was having a strategy session with a client, Mike for his upcoming book launch. And Mike has had several books. This was his sixth book, I believe. And those other books had had quite a measure of success. And I wanted this to be his most successful book launch ever and I'm thinking, How can I make this the most successful book launch ever? for Mike, and what's something new and creative and innovative and against the grain that we could be doing? And I at that time, believe that life streaming was really going to be the future. And so I started immersing myself in live streaming because I was thinking, What if I could get Mike's biggest influencers? to interview Mike on their social platform and livestream it? Now that would expose my to how many people? And also what if I could get individuals in Mike's community like his on his email list? What if I could invite them the opportunity to go live by themselves to promote Mike and Mike's book launch and Mike wouldn't even be there. So how cool I could just imagine, you know, over 100 people going live during the week of his book launch, and because his book cover was yellow, maybe people would be dressed in yellow, I got that idea from a 21 pilots concert that I went to. And as I was studying the the ways to get a live stream to go viral, one of the things that You can do is on Facebook, you know Facebook had this option still does, where you can start a watch party. It's a little button that sits at the bottom right hand corner of a live streaming video screen. And if you click Start watch party, then every single friend in your personal friends list, we'll get an instant notification that you are starting a watch party and basically streaming this live interview on your personal channel. Okay, so if if you and I right now decided to click a button, we could be live on Facebook, we could ask people to start watch parties. And let's say Ben starts a watch party, and he has 5000 friends 5000 people instantly get notified that our conversation is happening. And that was just one viewer clicking a button. So what would we have to do to get multiple viewers to click that button? Well over the fall I started experimenting with. For example, I would say If you start a watch party, let me know. And I'm going to pick three names, and You three are going to get a free coaching strategy session with me. And then it was like boo boo boo boo like all of these people starting watch parties. And then on another live stream, I would experiment with, start a watch party and somebody is going to get $100 amazon gift card right after we conclude, boom, like all of these people are starting watch parties, the episode goes viral, thousands of people are watching. And I thought, well, this is really powerful. And yet nobody is even talking about the potential of live streaming. Fast forward. Mike's book launch was April 28. And we know that COVID had in the middle of March. So when COVID had I got the idea to do the elevate series. And I thought, wow, this is gonna really tell me what's possible with live streaming. Well, and as I told you in those two weeks, reach grew by four thousand percent. I mean, imagine if your finances could grow by 40,000% in two weeks, like it's unbelievable the return. And then I packaged up that information. Because I had all of these people that were starting to ask me if I could interview them and my bandwidth was too much. So I put it into a process that anybody can start their own elevate series, and I would give them the technology, how to and the agenda and talking points and what to say and how to get it to go viral. Fast forward, I was invited into a speaking engagement to talk about live streaming. And then all of these clients started coming. These prospects started coming in saying, I want to start a series. I want your team to help me execute it. I want stats like what you got. And I said, Yeah, we could do that for you. And then boom, this whole division opens up overnight in my business, and gross well over six figures just the first week. It was unbelievable. If you go to YouTube and find me amber Ville Hauer, I have a playlist called Fast Track videos. And four of my most recent videos are all about live streaming and all of the little optimization tactics, details, strategies, everything I've learned to improve the host guest and viewer experience and to optimize your live stream. It's about an hour's worth of content overall. So you can go there, it's free public information, learn everything that you want about live streaming, but the bottom line is you should do it if you want to grow your reach and expand your market share.

Unknown:

Awesome. Thank you. You're welcome.

Thomas:

We have we have blown through an hour.

Unknown:

It's amazing how that happens. When you're talking to greet people like yourself. You are honest, I really do. You just have such an incredible energy and balance and grounding to you and it's calming, but you are incredibly intelligent. And you're so wise. I love talking to you. So this has been, this has been valuable for me.

Thomas:

Thank you. That's very kind of you. I appreciate it. Before we go, though, I would love for you to let people know what is the best way to reach out to you and to do you have like some give different packages where somebody can like have a real casual entrance into working with you to somebody who could you know, say, hey, Amber, I want to hire you specifically and here's, you know, here's my, what's the cheque number I need to put down. So like how would somebody go about either just getting sort of in touch with you in your page, and then somebody may be stepping that up to who would they reach out to to say, hey, I want to have a conversation about some some real intense coaching.

Unknown:

Sure. Well, the easiest place to go is to ambervilhauer.com. It's a hub site for everything that we do. So you'll be able to learn about our website agency book launches, live streaming, internet marketing. I don't have a lot of information out there publicly about coaching, but I do strategic coaching and you would just contact me directly for that. everywhere on my websites, you'll see the ability to download our pricing menu to get more information on your own. I believe in total transparency upfront so you can know our process our pricing, our payment plan turns everything up front before you even have to talk to anybody. But if you feel like you want to move forward into having a call with me, you would download our pricing menu and then there's going to be a link to request a call if you want one. And then you would talk to me and we would talk about your needs. I have clients who you know will start with a simple website or as leverage to scale and move Commonly lately, I have these clients coming in that say, I want everything that you do. And it's like, Okay, then let's get going with that. It's a lot. It's a lot of work. But there are people that have an upcoming book launch, they want the platform done the right way. They want aggressive growth. And so I make it really easy for people to work with me in whatever way that they want to.

Thomas:

And I was going to wrap up and then you brought this up, like, just the way you said that something tweeted me which was like, so how much has things changed now with COVID? Because, you know, it really, I mean, Zoom Zoom has taken off where we're recording this on zoom. And it's like, I have this sense. You know, I'm a financial advisor. I've been in the markets for 20 plus years. What I see happening is, companies are realizing, hey, we don't need to rent all this office space now like, you know, so Reid's real estate investment trusts that are you know, renting these big buildings. In downtown centers are going to lose tenants. Like there's going to be openings, vacancies, because businesses are seeing, hey, I don't have to spend all this money. So what? Like where I understand you're, you're focusing on live streaming, where else are you seeing? Like, here's a huge, you know, here's something that's kind of starting to tweak my interest.

Unknown:

That's the biggest one, honestly, with live streaming. And I would say even a year from now, you'll see a lot more digital marketing experts talking about live streaming, because right now I'm like, pretty much alone on my island saying guys, hello, wake up to the potential here. And it's really amazing. I mean, you see some some influencers dabbling with live streaming, and it was more a little bit more popular during COVID. But nobody knew how to use it. They don't understand the potential with it. And you wouldn't unless you were a geek like me spending almost a year testing and tweaking and refining and optimizing. But the thing that I am doing, Thomas is all go live. And we go Live, by the way, I'll meet you in a Zoom Room, we'll go live through YouTube, my closed Facebook groups business Facebook page, personal page, Twitch, Periscope, LinkedIn, you can go live all of those places out once out of a Zoom Room. If you have a third party app called Restream. That will do it for you. But after that live stream is over. Using my leverage to scale product, my team will optimize that replay on YouTube to get more viewers and exposure their long term. They'll repurpose it into a blog post that's got a bunch of keywords in it to make Google happy. And then they'll repurpose that to get my social media done and repurpose that to send an email to my email list. That's what leverage to scale does. It's an optimized and repurpose platform. And so you know, I feel like it's if you go and do live streaming Thomas, you could even livestream your podcasts and then your team can extract out the audio for that purpose. The future is working smarter, not harder. The future is and having real connection conversations using video and live streaming, but then leveraging that to the fullest extent you possibly can. Like, it's not a lot of hard work. It's just leveraging what you're already doing. And that's King moving forward. Like that's the way

Thomas:

All right, so we're gonna redo this now and I'm gonna like

Unknown:

you know, I'll say yes to that.

Thomas:

Amber, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for joining me today on the Bloom living podcast. And, you know, I think we're, yeah, we're due for another one. I know because the just your area, your zone of genius is where I really want to focus and thank you so much also for just sharing. You know, the internal stuff because it's not You know, being vulnerable and letting people I love what you said that you know, you're, there's everything is full. I can't think of the word. Full disclosure. Yes. on your website. Yeah, transparency like that is it's just so beautiful to have and to have a guest on that that is not coming from that place. It makes my job here as a host very easy. So thank you so much for that.

Amber Vilhauer:

Yeah. And honestly, it is refreshing when somebody is just open and honest with you, right? So if we find value in that being refreshing, you have that opportunity to have others perceive you that way.

Unknown:

You have an amazing day. Hey, this is Thomas DeSchutter and I just want to thank you for joining us today on the Bloom living podcast, a huge shout out to our guests as well. And if you heard something today that you think might benefit another human being Well, we'd love it if you posted that on social media. Share this out to your network. Or maybe it's just like, hey friend, I heard this today I thought you might enjoy it to have a listen. Go ahead and hit the subscribe button and you'll be notified every single time we upload a new show.

Thomas:

Until next time, I wish you all the best. Stay safe, be well. All my relations Transcribed by https://otter.ai