The Bloom Living Podcast

Accepting Acceptance | Shaylee Edwards SE05 - EP05

August 10, 2020 Thomas DeSchutter Season 5 Episode 5
The Bloom Living Podcast
Accepting Acceptance | Shaylee Edwards SE05 - EP05
Show Notes Transcript

Shaylee Edwards: Behavioural Metaphysician  habitbook.com
It's probably unlike anything you've tried or even heard about. 

If you’ve tried like hell to change something in your life without success, there might be a subconsciously held belief that keeps pulling you back to where you were. Somethings you just can’t force for long, and here’s why: we ultimately default to a choice that is consistent with the downstream from who we subconsciously think we are and what we believe is possible for us.

Why are habits emphasized here? What we do regularly is what shapes our lives. These could be habits of thought or food. They might be regarding who we let in our life or how we interpret what they do or say. If you haven't yet found success in relationships, health, wealth, joy, or peace, you may want to consider having a consultation to see if your subconsciously stored identity & beliefs are what's holding you back.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the BloomLiving Podcast, Bloom Strategies, or Thomas DeSchutter

Thomas DeSchutter :

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Thomas DeSchutter :

Welcome back to the Bloomliving podcast. Hey it's season five. This is Episode Five. Today, we'll be speaking with one of my faves become a great friend and a bringer of light into my world and that is Shaylee Edwards, and a quick shout out to Shaylee, and International Paige day. She is the founder of habit book.com and I encourage you to go have a look at habit books, calm. She is a behavioral metaphysician. She loves to dive in inner space exploration. And if you check out her Instagram, especially I GTV her live stuff, and the way she breaks things down the openness the frankness the conversations she's willing to dive into, not only for herself but for all of us. I mean she, she loves to rip things apart. And look at them and see what is there. What can be learned what can be gained what can be discarded. I'll admit today's conversation gets pretty heavy, it gets heavy right off the top so it's not for the faint of heart. And I invite you to stay with us and to enjoy the conversation. As we tackle some pretty big ideas together. And it's really an exploration it's a quest to see what what is our own understanding of things. So here she is my friend and a great inspiration, shaylee Edwards. Shaylee Edwards, welcome to the show.

Shaylee Edwards :

Thank you, Thomas,

Thomas DeSchutter :

and you just asked me how I am doing today. And so I'm doing well. This morning I was actually reflecting on we watched the Netflix documentary on the USA Gymnastics fiasco of child abuse. Last night, of course, because Tatum is so into gymnastics. She wanted to watch it so we watched it as a family the two girls and Leslie and i and i mean it was very impactful and like wow how things could go wrong and people just allow right nobody says anything everybody just wants to not, you know, make a scene or not cause any grievance or anything like that so they bury and they bury and nobody talks about it. But then this morning I was thinking about me as a father like, and where I am today versus where I was, you know, the girls are going to be 14 so when they were six and seven I was not in the consciousness I am today. And so, I wasn't by any stretch a terrible father I wasn't abusive but from where I stand today. I was looking back going, you know, that was abusive like, you know, the way I disciplined them at times and got mad at them and, you know, tried to teach them lessons at the age of six and seven. I could almost look back and go. I was a terrible father. So I did some meditation this morning was about releasing things and letting go and then reaffirming a new way of being right so a denial and an affirmation was my meditation so this morning I was able to, you know, deny that those feelings those thoughts of guilt and shame and badness that I had had any power over me and affirm a new way of being for who I am today and where I stand today, so it was great. And it was really great to see what I don't want to be that I don't want to be that guy like that, that guy doesn't light me up. This guy likes me out. So, to answer your question, that's where I'm at today, it's it was a it was a nice healing journey.

Shaylee Edwards :

That's very profound work, is that something that I can comment on.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Yeah, absolutely.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, I mean, I think those topics. Let's say like not low grade abuse, but sort of context or an environment where it doesn't reflect what we would do, or be in our highest consciousness. I've been on my radar as well and I think that when I look at what it is. So, how do you define, so I know like when we're talking about your girls. I know the bar that you set for yourself as far as like expression. So like, I see like you say like, No, you can't have ice cream but like sharper faster than you would now. But let's say like we take this into a different context, this is something you want to explore.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Sure, let's Yeah, let's let's talk about what we what you and I will talk about, we should talk about.

Shaylee Edwards :

Okay, great. Yeah. So, this has been kind of on my radar and I look at it like is when one person perceives that another person has something that they want or need, and that could be acceptance, that could be a resource that could be just a one person perceives that something outside of themselves, is affecting them and then takes action on the thing outside of themselves. So that could be maybe like around peace I feel upset I feel unsettled, you are causing it and so I'm going to step over my line and step into your world and move t

Thomas DeSchutter :

Great. So is that in reference to how I would have reacted to what the girls were doing that's me stepping over going what you're doing is triggering me I'm going to step in your world and do whatever I'm going to do.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, okay. When I was looking at it like that. So I guess what I've been exploring personally is or like radical transparency and how that is somehow scary or seemingly impossible in contexts where there have been like, like, let's say, unbalanced retribution. So it's like if one person does. I I poke you with a magnitude of one and you poke back with the magnitude of three that poke of one that I had been doing naturally is no longer like safe for me to do and so my natural expression has been inhibited, and then it's like, what do I do and so that's kind of like, where I'm seeing that people separate from their inner voice where there has been like an inbounds retribution.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Right. So, let me see if I can understand that. So what you're saying is, like, it is I do something that maybe trigger somebody it's kind of minor, they come back at me much harder than how I went out and so now it shuts me down.

Shaylee Edwards :

I wish you could follow me around just summarize. Yes. Yeah, so, so looking at what's available as far as human interaction and intimacy and connection, it seems like transparency is that secret sauce but for one reason or another, we become uncomfortable with thinking that that's even a possibility. And so it's like how do I say this, how do I share this how do I well blah blah blah blah so this other person can interpret it. Where had that been a safe space to begin with the initial presentation wouldn't have to have been perfect, there would be like room to work with it. And so it's like how does someone retrain themselves after they've had the experience of inbalance retribution, to really own the entirety of their experience and share hey this is comfortable with for me this is what I want. Hey, you know,

Thomas DeSchutter :

right, so now are you speaking in terms of the injustice that went on in the USA Gymnastics in terms of like those, those people coming forward are those people burying like so there's two camps, there's the obviously there's all the girls in the athletes that were abused. And then there's the adults that were in control of the situation that were turning a blind eye to it.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, it seems like these like environments built out around imbalance or injustice that where it seems at first, impossible to turn the lights on and see everything. And so there's just like this continuous dance of adaptation, that's apart from what is natural. And so, a lot of like the people that I see on you know on the path or in pursuit of them that have their best selves, often have these barriers to overcome or they're saying like, oh, before I wasn't able to share that this is what I needed from you or this is what I truly felt or or thought, but now, how do I come to express that and I think, relative to the gymnastics example. No probably was it just, it's that retribution unbalanced retribution fear that holds people and places that are uncomfortable.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Mm hmm. Yeah. You know I know this morning it really impacted me on the level of just being mean yes a dad absolutely but then it expanded into everything I do all the work I'm doing in the world and whether I'm going to, you know, how do I show up right like how do I show up as my best self, all the time and I know that's not possible, like I know intuitively I can't be on every moment of every day it's just not possible there's going to be these ebbs and flows of deep thinking and retracement, and then, you know, springing forth from that might be a whole new level of vitality and energy that comes in, then that might earn hot for, you know, a week or two or so and then new ideas will form from that new ways of expression will form, and then I'll start to think about that stuff and then I'll start going into this inner world again where I'm contemplating it and have these darker moments or what seems darker until the light gets turned back on again and then it's like a leap forward.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, and I think openly demonstrating that as your practice is really empowering and helpful because there is sort of a, like a glare on shiny people from the outside, where you can't really see that process which is very real where you sort of like, it's not necessarily a spiral but it is revisiting a lot of the same things deeper and deeper and sometimes when you are in that revelation cycle it can get kind of dark and challenging.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Yeah. That's how I felt this morning, I felt a little darker this morning not so like hey, that is so good I can't you know it was like, Oh, I need to contemplate this a little and dig a little deeper on it and how do I feel and where are those feelings coming from.

Shaylee Edwards :

And I really honor that your practice is such that you can open those doors and walk like down those hallways they're really uncomfortable and I think that's what holds back a lot of people from higher expressions of themselves because they have to walk through older expressions with their new awareness. And if there's any kind of judgment around worth, or ability, I can be very fearful because, hey, maybe I'm not so great. Hey, maybe I don't have the authority to say this or be that or do that, hey, and so it's like, No, I'm just gonna wait out here. Hope seem like the best way out is through

Thomas DeSchutter :

the best way out is through it. Yeah. So, that's great, thank you for sharing that and let's put this let's let's let's put this conversation on you a little bit how has that been for you because I know you know I follow you, I see a lot of your stories I see a lot of your content I love you know my favorite is still the spatula, there's nothing like that we'll talk a spatula conversation that is, that is, you know, you're gonna have to really go deep, to overcome the level of magnitude that spatula has in this household especially. But, yeah, like how has your journey been what is it that you know how do you piece your life together when, as you move it because you work with people so you're going to be taking in some of their stuff, and processing that and then there's your own stuff to process.

Shaylee Edwards :

Well, it's actually pretty interesting. So if we look at I don't, I don't think we've ever talked about A Course in Miracles how we,

Thomas DeSchutter :

we have I don't think we ever have. And it'll be interesting to do it. So let's do it.

Shaylee Edwards :

Okay, you start What is your experience with that material.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Well I was, I was in the my spiritual path to when I came to the course to A Course in Miracles was Star Wars, that there was the Jedi, they were good, they were the Bringers of light and there was the dark side the dark force and those were, you know, those were our two ways of being, we were either you know lightsabers or we were the dark side. And that was it for me, because I turned away from religion, when I was a teenager I was like I don't understand any of this stuff this show this guilt and shame and all this I don't get it. I'm not in out. And then we moved in 2015 we moved in an IMO and Leslie went to unity here, where they had a course in miracles on Thursday mornings and she went to that because she was a very Williamson fan. And she brought it home. It ended up on the coffee table, eventually moved its way closer to me. You know like it walked across the table to me, and then I opened it on my page for I realized that I had collapsed spiritual teachings of Jesus and His message with organized religion and the dogma, and they were two separate things. In that moment when I saw right there that. Oh, they can be separated. Then I couldn't put the book down and I read it twice and then I went to unity and decided to become a minister, so that's my experience with A Course in Miracles.

Shaylee Edwards :

Wow. That's not a light read.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Oh my. To me, it's okay you're gonna have to read it twice.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah. Okay so interesting. So, and that is a great entrance point. What I have discovered, quote unquote, or what has become present in my awareness recently, say in the last six months is more of an embodiment of the concept of light and dark being of this, it's like, two hands on the same body. And so in that this. The idea of judgment of what is good or bad becomes so impossible because when you zoom out so right and wrong, good and bad to me are relative to frames of reference. But the mind of God is frameless or if it. If it's everything. And so, when something is small, it's relative to something that's big. If something is good it's relative to something that's bad. But when you look at some kind of like points on the line, you can't really tell when you view the point in isolation if it's the up part of a curve or a down part. And I think with good and bad in the instance you say like, oh holy. Like, it's raining it's storming like this needs to stop but when you zoom out and you get a more picture of a line you say like, oh wow that's enabled or allowed for this. And so, going back to sort of this like opportunity that comes up whenever uncomfortable things come forward and it's like, compassion to me. What the like quote unquote objective is is not perfection internally or externally, but rather just a practice of perfect acceptance and when that's not perfect and acceptance of that. So, with pause like I'm feeling so on summarize.

Thomas DeSchutter :

I know I got all that, and I think that was clear. And so what I'm hearing from you, right now is that is that is inside of God the conversation of God being all oneness unity the universe however source whatever you want to call it inside of that. There is the good and the bad is all of it. It's all of it is the journey. There isn't. You know you can't have one without the other in this world of duality, there is. It's just missing, it may be misguided truth. If you want to put it that way that's kind of what I'm hearing from you.

Shaylee Edwards :

Right. Okay, so what how that looked in real life with that acceptance of the two experiences being equal, it's almost like it, afforded a greater picture of the landscape or the terrain so before I had been very light oriented, that's only half the picture you need the dark to see the to see the ground. And so, whenever I stopped denying my own darkness, or pushing away my own pain or fear. And it was able to integrate it it was like, kind of like dropping into my body, and there is when you are not concerned when you allow for both things to be equal, and okay light and dark good and bad. Then you weren't fearful anymore of doing something wrong, and that allows you the confidence to grow forward, and also the capacity to forgive yourself and everyone so there's just like this. It's a very, it's been a very strange. It's almost like inside it's complete stillness now because I have so strongly integrated that nothing is good or bad, it just is like only thinking that makes it so and so I'm just noticing period, there is no narrative because all narrative is a function of judgment, which is relative which is false. So there was like nothing I could say to myself to understand, that would be quote unquote true, because it would be limited.

Promotion :

Hmm. Wow.

Thomas DeSchutter :

That's. I'm glad we just decided to start with a light topic this morning, anybody that has stayed with us on this podcast I commend you for. We commend ourselves to you in this moment as we share what is coming up, you know, so here's what here's what I loved and heard. So, what I mainly think of is darkness is only the absence of light. Okay. And so you could you can bring light to any darkness.

Shaylee Edwards :

Okay, so I guess what I'm saying is that darkness is light as well. So there's like when you say light or dark you're still in doubt you're still in separation, where I'm saying like you allow both things to be without distinction or without like conceptualizing them.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Okay. And that's, And so you're saying that's the place you've gotten to. Yeah, is that you're in this space where it's just it just is So, have you read the surrender experiment Michael singer. Yeah, so are Is this the, is this the plane that we're on now the seret like just being able to surrender to whatever is. Yes. Okay. Good. And so then this would also be with Victor Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning,

Shaylee Edwards :

actually I have to revisit that work after the work I've done the last few years, I'm not sure. Do you remember if he says that there. Can you remind me what his,

Thomas DeSchutter :

so there's, there's a couple yeah there's a couple of moments there's one when he's first. When he's first brought to his first concentration camp, and they're being stripped down. And, you know, he's naked and they're doing you know they're putting the power on him and then they have to shower their shower then they get powdered or however that works I forget but he, he has this moment where he realizes that no matter what they do externally, they can't take him away. They can't. They can't control what he is within. That's his, he owns that he can be that. That's what I took away from that and then there's another moment where I think he's five years into being in the concentration camps for a number of years in however many it is maybe it's a six concentration camp I forget but he's missing his wife, and he has this realization of unconditional love, and that no matter what, that's what will allow him to go through all of this is having unconditional love, in any circumstance.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yes. Okay, so same page, that's what I'm when I'm talking about beyond judgment, beyond the mind, it is unconditional without distinguishment. It just is. Yeah, I mean, honestly what it, what it's looked like in practice to get to that point was a lot of times where I'd be sitting somewhere, thinking like you gotta be freaking kidding me like this, this is what's happening right now, this is what we're doing. And it was almost and, like, So when we look at understanding or any kind of like thinking. It's to me, perpetuate perpetuation of the illusion of control and that it's like if I can understand this, then I can control this. But why would you want to do that and it's all in separation so without thinking you just, I am there is nothing that is not you and so the concept of having to do something to get something falls away. And then the only point would be to experience, to, to, that's it.

Thomas DeSchutter :

I want to go back a bit because when you talked about when you mentioned God and the oneness. One of the things in Unity we talked about is the Trinity, and the Trinity in my upbringing as the hole in the Holy Catholic Church, the Trinity was God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. And I was always told as a kid I would never understand those so to contemplate them to just accept them for what they were, because it's too big a concept for us humans to manage that. And Charles Fillmore who is the co founder of unity, he in his very first book he wrote back in I think 1909 or something. He came up with the idea of mind idea expression that God is principle. The principle being mind, so all things right idea is us, the son, the daughter idea we are the idea, and we express ourselves. And so you have this big one thing of consciousness unity. We, we get those ideas we express them like that's the that's the process that's how he explained the Trinity, in terms of unity that, because in unity there's no God, outside of us, there's not you know the guy up in the sky judging and all that stuff. We are gods, we are part of that exact thing we are all oneness, we are all wholeness. And so I heard that when you were first, you know, explaining that off when you were talking of the one that I that popped into my head is that this, you know I'm still, I am still in a place of trying to unpack that fully as God is principle. You know I'm the idea. And I expressed myself. And, you know, part of the steps of unity is that the last there's five unity principles the fifth one is action like nothing works without action. And

Shaylee Edwards :

so it's interesting and like, I think, along Sona in this awareness what I see is more that in the concept of just expression there's sort of like this opening this blooming of a flower this like just unfolding. And we're witnessing and when we notice it moves a little we try to figure out how so that we can replicate, but it just sort of like is. And so, to me, the path, sort of, ends at any moment that we have chosen perfect acceptance of ourselves and our lives. So, when you have the quote unquote like awareness to know what is good and bad. That to me is separation from what is. And so it's without complete judgment saying, at this moment everything I am have done, and you know will do is perfect and the same is true for others. I think where that gets sticky or trippy for the intellectual type, or as women zoom out and say like well that's obviously hurting someone or this is obviously not healthy or this though bla bla. And being someone who has walked through a lot of like 3d pain and trauma and experience. I can certainly feel and see where they would be like You gotta be kidding me. This can't be right. However, there is something in that moment of like shoulder shrug maybe it is that allows for the experience to move you in a way that actually lifts you and I keep trying to consider how to like for for my like how do I share that in a world right now, where there is a lot of quote unquote pointing, like, this is right this is wrong. Mm hmm.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Yeah, a lot of social media shaming. Well, let me see if I can help you because you did something for me, a number of years, maybe a year and a half ago we had a conversation and I was doing some work with you. And I just want to bring this to potato chips. So, I mean, who doesn't like a good potato chip right like. But I, I was expressing to you my anger and resentment towards my love of the potato chip and how I, I sort of held the potato chip as the blame for, you know, me being unhealthy or not being as driven slim as I could be or as perfectly designed as I could be your shape however I was framing it in my head. And, and you just you just gave me permission to enjoy the effing potato chip. Like, like, have a potato chip, and just enjoy it. And, you know, and ever since then, I've been in a whole different place around potato chips. I still have a little bit sometimes when I'm having them I have a little reminder of like, oh these are bad for me. And then I'm like no no I can, you know, I can control this, and I'm gonna I'm gonna have a potato chip right now as a matter of fact, I'm gonna have 20 right now and I don't care i'm going to do it. And, you know, maybe tomorrow I'll have more and maybe I won't. I'm not going to worry about it and stress about it and I found that when I stressed and worried about it. It was way more of a draw, and way more punishing to try to not have them or have them versus just accepting when I feel like a potato chip, when I don't feel like.

Shaylee Edwards :

And I love that. That's how I'll go down and the blue living archives.

Promotion :

Forget this stuff about transcending the money.

Shaylee Edwards :

But it's true it's like it's all the same, the same principle applies everywhere, but for some reason some areas feel safer to experiment with than others. And I guess it's fear of the wrongness quote unquote persisting but what I found in complete surrender is that you can come to trust that you'll sort of like, write yourself. So it's like let's say like I let myself, eat chips, all day every day, eventually it'll the behavior will correct itself, as long as there's not resistance. And to me resistance is just a narrative, it's explaining something and time or space where space to me is relative to what other people are doing or thinking. And when all of that collapses. There's just information, and information naturally updates, how we interface with the world and it seems like in that information you find safety, which then allows for again this concept of concept of competence and forward moving action, which to me sort of going back to like, what's the point then of doing. It's the experience of it and when you allow for safety and competence, the experience continues to be new.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Yeah. Click a new day a new moment, a new time.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yes, rather than cycling, what has been seen like decided as safe or right or comfortable you trust yourself to explore in ways that you haven't before.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Yeah. So let me see if I can give an example so I know. So when you surrender to something, when you actually just surrender to the fact that, and I'll use the potato chip, as an example like hey, I love potato chips, and I'm going to enjoy them when I want to and surrender to it. I have to say there's been moments where I've looked. I've looked in the mirror and it's like you know what, I can enjoy potato chips, it doesn't matter at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I'm going to do what I need to do to move through life, because I'm, I'm in that place, and I can enjoy these, and I can not enjoy them, like I have a choice. So I'm either going to eat them painfully. I'm still going to eat them. Or I could eat them and enjoy them. I might as well enjoy them like I might as well have the moment if I'm going to have them, I should just enjoy it.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yes. And what occurred to me like fresh during what you were saying was that each experience he's action is really just a canvas that we paint our internal experience onto. And so in essence you are potato chips, like potato chips are you, they're only, they only appear to be separate. And if your internal experience is that of love and awe and adoration, then whenever you have like something that is your experience with that as well. And so it's kind of cool then in reverse, we can use situations like that where we feel uncomfortable or wrong about what we're doing to kind of love ourselves more like, Oh, I must not be cool with this piece of meat yet like and bringing that into front using that information to update the internal world so that the experience then reflects back a brighter like more loving sensation.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Thank you. So here's, here's where. Here's where I'd like to take this a little because this this triggered some thoughts for me. So, in the world of not accepting and needing. So the conversation of needing to be right. Like, I need to be right. And, and I do want to talk a little bit about social shaming because I think what has happened here with all of this conversation around COVID-19 quarantine going out into the public, wearing a mask, not wearing a mask. And people being able to go on social media and just, or Raj somebody because they have a difference of opinion. Where is that coming from like what is it what is it that I guess gives people the idea that they're free to just, you know, trash somebody because they don't agree with them. Do you have an answer for like like do you like what is it that we're, we're experiencing as a culture as humans that we feel like I need to go, destroy this person because I don't agree with them.

Shaylee Edwards :

That's a great question. Alright, so the first thing that I would allow for is that everybody is in kind of a static electricity environment where there's a lot of fear, there's a lot of discomfort and anything that kind of stands out is like a lightning rod it's like, Oh thank god release. So I think there's a component of that. I think there's probably a component of. So when we look at going back again to the light and dark concept the good and bad being relatively in this in that world. Things are both true and false at the same time. And when we look at us each being individual creators, the rules that apply to Thomas and how he creates it based on his beliefs are different than shales but they generate results just like shingles generates results. And so there are people that will believe strongly and this is probably moronic like quote unquote like crazier side, there will be people that believe strongly that a mask will save, there will do something and there will be others that believe that it won't and both of those experiences will be true. And so there's probably some collective discomfort in this. That's the terrain that's everybody's safety that's everybody's ground they're standing on and now it's like you don't know it's true. And I think in that there's a little bit of a free, free for all

Thomas DeSchutter :

right and what do you think that, do you think that the cover of social media of not being face to face with somebody not having, You know like me having a conversation with you right now, even though, you know we're doing it through electric zoom the electronic world. I still see you as a human being. It would be a lot harder for me to aggressively attack you verbally, just because I can see you, I can see your expression I can see that you're passionate caring individual, you know when. And do you think that the social media platform then allowed because it's so you don't have that human connection it just allows the freedom for somebody to think hey I can just do a say or do whatever I want, and get away with it. I guess so to speak.

Shaylee Edwards :

Well I think too so people who respond strongly are probably coming from a lot of fear and pain themselves, and if we go back to that idea. The retribution. inbalance retribution where their voice had been silenced before maybe in their personal lives they may see this as an opportunity to exercise what they really think or feel. And so then going back to are things good or bad, it's like well actually that might be a great step for them in the right direction to having their own experience. It may look like, you know like, you know, a show at first but that's why whenever I talk about this acceptance piece it's really like the shoulder shrug like well, this is what's happening. And so how do we allow for that to be okay. And most chatter around coming to that is basically just kind of like reconfiguring the same sentence, a bunch of different ways to somebody can hear, it's okay. You're okay. Things are okay. You're safe.

Thomas DeSchutter :

You know, it's funny while you were saying that what popped into my head was the in the in certain scriptures in the Bible, so there's a section of the Hebrew Scriptures, the philosopher's right. And all of those guys were just like, trashed. And at times beaten and left for dead because they were going up against the machine right they saw things they they have this ability to see that the machine isn't working. We're not taking care of everybody, there's you know there's the oppressed. There's the marginalized and we're just letting them suffer. And so they couldn't help but speak out against it they needed to, you know, show that hey, we need a new order here because the order we have is not working. And I'm seeing so much of that today in the world as well that the order that we've created is, you know, the line between the haves and the have nots is just that gap is growing massively and and so I'm curious where that's going to take us because I see more you know I think the Black Lives Matter movement is so much about that is it's, it's this idea that we're, we're just not the order we've created is not working on on almost any level, when you think about it.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, absolutely. and again, so unplanned Lee, when we go back to these ideas of right or wrong, those philosophers that you're talking about who went against the system would still be in separation because they'd be saying this is wrong. And I'm talking from a thinking standpoint, but from an action standpoint, what occurs to me then as the solution is the solution. So, what, what I see in the Black Lives Matter movement is this huge opportunity for the awareness of the struggle that this portion of the population has felt to really be seen. So there's like it's first just awareness it's hearing what their experience has been like it is honoring that it cannot be understood except from within it is just like a whole bunch of awareness, and then the next step so much what you went through this morning as acceptance where you say like I see it. I accept that this is the way that it is I own my portion of the responsibility I forgive those who did not know better. And there is, then this opportunity where if you can move beyond what's wrong, you can talk about what would be great. Next, and that's where I see sometimes like loss of footing and I think that's because there's so much healing, or awareness and acceptance that needs to be done first. But ultimately, it's like okay, what, what is our, what would be great, how do we, what do we create beyond the current system that supports each individual and their integrity their authenticity their safety.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Right. Wow, that's a big thank you surely that's a big awareness that I see that even in that context I have a, I have a right or wrong, like this is the wrong way to do it. And there's a right way to do it and I see that. So, I guess you know if I were to look at this for myself and maybe for where others might struggle is is in hearing that there's no right or wrong. And yet, I have this compulsion desire to do things different. And so where does that, is that like somewhere in me it's framed like that, that's either that doesn't light me up I can put it as that like that just doesn't work for me. So I'd rather do this. But what you're talking about is being able to say, that doesn't work for me. And it's not wrong, it just doesn't work for me and I will do this instead. This works for me, but accepting that that works for somebody right like that way of being is good for somebody somebody thinks that that is the way to function. And it's different from how I think I want to function.

Shaylee Edwards :

And I find that in a 14, other people their own experience their own choices so much to say like look like you've been in this game the self awareness consciousness game for a while. If you went back to algebra class, you're like hey let me talk to you about what I learned in calculus. It's like, it just doesn't, it doesn't compute and what I think it's so helpful to remember when there's somebody in the wrong is that they're generally operating from a place of so much pain and fear, and it's not that they are a bad person. It's just that their ability to experience the self beyond itself has been impacted in one way, shape or form and they've forgotten or are experience this Id forgotten the connectedness of everything. And so, when I'm having conversations with family members who are a little bit more, who who see differently than me. I'm first saying like, okay, help me understand where you are. What are you afraid of where are you teach me what it's like from your perspective and in that, as they allow for their own awareness to go there safely it gently expands and what they see as possible or see expands. And so it isn't as, like, sexy as being like a warrior on the front line, but it does seem to make a difference. Mm hmm.

Thomas DeSchutter :

So, so maybe what you're talking about then is allowing the space for people to be heard and accepting that they're that they're being heard. So I just thought, here's what I thought is that, imagine if. So I'm trying to imagine that I'm the guy that's on social media just lambasting people left and right because their, their ideas don't mesh with my ideas. And then what if I were to actually stop doing that and say Hey shaylee, your opinion is way different than mine. I'd like to understand where you're coming from, and just start there as opposed to, hey I've made up my mind and if you know if you're again if you're not with me you're against me. And so therefore I need to shut you down. But imagine if I were to just stop for a moment and begin speaking to you and ask you like where are you coming from, because I think two things happen there one is not only do I understand, greater where you're coming from, if I'm truly listening. But then as a listener, when somebody is being heard and listened to, they actually find their voice. Right when you're truly being heard by somebody, and you're going through something, you will resolve your issue, much greater on your own by that process than having somebody tell you what to do next.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, absolutely. And what I found. So, why would someone be hesitant to take in information, well they're probably not confident in their ability to adapt. And so there's this psyche safety, that I think we're experiencing where these blocks come up and it's like I can't take in that information because if I have to change I act kind of like you were saying earlier today. I have to change how you how I act, maybe I won't be able to generate this result or get this resource or do this thing and so it's like, I'm just going to block off and be this. And so the people who have a broader perspective whenever they're looking at the smaller perspective and they're saying like Don't you see it just kind of like reinforces that walls need to be there because they're even more afraid. And so, what I found in like having this approach. Again, it's not that. It's. It doesn't seem as like, like I said, like I think the word is sexy but it's like when there is this big strong action that people can see and point to it's like, oh you're doing something. But there are other ways to do things that might not be as noticeable. It's like having a fire put out versus having things in place like there was no fire necessary. Right,

Thomas DeSchutter :

so it's it's very that right it's just accepting that there's a different way of doing things.

Shaylee Edwards :

It's accepting that that is like the furthest that that person's flower is open right now. Right. And not again like that this is this whole orchestra, this whole combinations of ways of being and doing and thinking that are all kind of working together. If we go to this unity concept. Each pieces is unique and necessary and so somebody who is doing wrong action is also part of that system.

Thomas DeSchutter :

That's the tough one right is the you know, the wrong action so to speak like, Ooh, that's not, you know, that's not part of the collective, we don't think that that fits into the collective,

Promotion :

and it's part of it. Totally.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Totally. One of the things I do is metaphysics. And what that means to you. Is that a big question for me to drop in your lap right now.

Shaylee Edwards :

No, it's really interesting to me it means awareness, or rather, via allowance of the awareness that there are. There's more than meets the eye. And so whenever I talk. Whenever I'm like, self, proclaiming as a behavioral metaphysician, what I'm saying is, there are things upstream from action and things that are affecting action and things. And you can. And to me it is all like that fundamental point of this perception of separation. So that's what I'm talking about, metaphysics I'm basically meaning, do you allow for that misperception, it's, it's working beyond the misperception.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Right. Working beyond the misperception so I did pull up the, the definition of metaphysics, and you're pretty, like, what do you said is it aligned with that. Do you know what the definition is on Google. No. Okay, it's the branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things including abstract concepts such as being knowing substance, cause identity time and space.

Shaylee Edwards :

You want to know something kind of cute.

Thomas :

Yeah. Okay,

Shaylee Edwards :

so my unfolding has been very foreshadowing and like a Disney way where it's like, Hey, here's this word or this idea say it for a few years and then 10 later you'll get it. So when I was like in college and mostly around college before I would date, a boy I would ask if they knew what metaphysics was, and I didn't even know metaphysics, but somehow that occurred to me as like a way to filter suitors. And so it was quite ironic and funny to me many years later when I was like, Oh wow, I noticed that I'm calling myself a metaphysician.

Thomas DeSchutter :

That's awesome. That's awesome. So you had a thank you for that. That's a great little cute story, and you had sent me an email or a text asking me if I knew of some metaphysicians or people that studied metaphysics, and I sent you you know Charles and Myrtle, because I think so much of unities work I mean he's got an entire metaphysical dictionary that he created based on scripture, which is fascinating because it's like you know when you read in the Bible Moses goes up the mountain, does he actually go up the mountain, or is the mountain, higher consciousness that he's climbing to right. It's that kind of thing so it's taking all of that work that's in the scriptures and turning it into something different than the literal words on the page. So, have you found, others that are delving into that world that you've read that are fascinating or have you know switched on some, some new lights for you because I would love to. I would love to read those as well.

Shaylee Edwards :

Well, actually I'm gonna drop the sun before I suggest, but I guess a more visual representation of what metaphysics, is to me is indras. net, where it's like an each droplet every other droplet is reflected and so that same translation that you're talking about of the Bible, I think you can translate anything that way, the comics, but your interaction with your neighbor it's all all, everything is contained therein, and it's just how you read it symbolically.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Right.

Shaylee Edwards :

And I loved, and that Fox's work on Sermon on the Mount. Hmm. And, well, Joseph Murray has done some stuff I really enjoyed. And what was really interesting to me to find out too is Robert Coley err clear. I think I'm sure I'm saying that wrong but he wrote the secret of the ages, which I think the documentary The Secret was derived from somewhat. He was actually like a marketing genius. And when you look at his books on, you'll see you wrote scientific advertising well maybe somebody else, but around that same period of time there was direct mail advertising and copyright, it's really interesting to see the crossover between those two things where it's like, Can you say can you tune into what what is wanted, like what do you really want. And I think in marketing whenever you are able to speak to what is wanted you make that connection, it's it's hey what you need I offer, but I was just, it was really fascinating to me to explore how he was brilliant and both of those industries or specializations.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Thank you. So have you used some of that now and like if we if we shift to if we shift from this and this really light hearted conversation we've been having for something really, really deep and intense, like, business, for example,

Shaylee Edwards :

it funny because you and I are both like so silly and bright but it was like summer Tuesday. Yeah, let's see how I use it in business. I have had some blocks to work through around selling and abundance. But the more I become comfortable beyond thought. The more I noticed that the way I talk about the work is naturally wanted oriented.

Thomas DeSchutter :

So your blocks around selling so is that is there a right or wrong in there. Is that is that the block, do you think,

Shaylee Edwards :

well the block, I'm sure. Yes. Yeah, absolutely, where it's like, oh you. Yeah, absolutely,

Thomas DeSchutter :

yeah it's it's wrong for me to do this I can't ask for this or I can't pull myself out as this. Yeah. Welcome to my life in selling. Yeah. So, I'm so with you on that and I think there's a lot of people in business, small business owners especially that really struggle with. There's some that don't obviously there's some that are able to really efficiently just go hey here's what I offer, here's what it cost you can pay me or not, like, that's it. And then there's a lot of us I think that are, you know, we're, we're like artists, where we want to suffer.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah if I find that again like this concept beyond concepts, mind, I mean it really is mind blowing but it's opening a lot of doors as to what I think is okay to do and mostly from this like playful standpoint, where it's like, let's see, this would be fun. So, allowing. It just, I think there's something inherently attractive about expressing for the sake of it that perhaps us artists have discounted in a commerce world. So it's like, we think that there's something we have to do beyond just express to sell, where I think that it might just be enough.

Thomas DeSchutter :

In order to so awesome is that as that was coming out of your consciousness to me. I was thinking about a thought I had, I don't know if it was yesterday or today. I was thinking about, I think it was yesterday I was thinking about how, how can I release more of myself, like how can I just give up this idea that it has to be a certain way because I find what I will do is I'll have these stages where I'll just, like, I'll just do whatever, and put it out there and it'll whatever happens happens and then I'll have these stages where I'm, you know, I'll go to lessons like oh can I say this like I don't know if I could say this like. That's what I think. But can I say like I'm actually putting the brakes on myself, because I think there's somebody I don't even know who that person is that that's out there that's going to fire back and going you can't say that, like that's in the work that you do. That's not allowed. And so I love what you said there that that we can if we, I think kind of fits into that, if we get out of our own way a little bit, and just allow ourselves to be and so a perfect example will be this podcast, because I really tried, you know I know I threw you some stuff saying hey we could talk about metaphysics and you had sort of said what we could talk about I don't think we started off on any of that stuff at all. We just dove into stuff and now I could sit back and go oh I don't know if I should put this podcast though we talk about some really heavy stuff it's really like all of that stuff can play inside my head and I'm not going to do that I love the conversation we have, but I think it's what you said there that honesty of just being. This is what lights me up today I want to talk about this and maybe there's somebody else out there that wants to talk about it or hear that conversation, and that's who we're going to attract.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, and this sort of relaxation of perfectness, it's allowing for even things that are like negative to have the positive so there's something. It's just sort of okay like let's, let's see. And, yeah, Matthew.

Thomas DeSchutter :

For those that are listening that didn't see it when she said negative she did the little bunny ears

Promotion :

quotation marks.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Negative. I love it.

Shaylee Edwards :

But there's also the seriousness that those of us who have intellectualize spirituality, sometimes fall into that to me, belies the beauty of it. I mean, it really is pretty ironic, and there is some pretty silly stuff that happens. If you aren't identified with it, and that's kind of what I was saying, oh, earlier back whenever I felt like syrup or control was rustle from the the illusion of controls wrestled friendly, because it's like, I'll be, I'd be sitting in my life. peeping around and thinking like you gotta be freaking kidding me like this is where we are right now, and it's in an element like if I was identified with that storyline I think I would be so overwhelmed, I wouldn't be able to act. But if I can allow myself to have that experience without it defining me, then it somehow becomes approachable and almost enjoyable. So going back to what you were saying about Viktor Frankl there is sort of this like inner world where you are okay. And the outside is moving and the inside is moving and that inner place might even be behind your inner dialogue. A lot of the stuff that I've been doing recently has been awareness about awareness and the judgment traps that are there. So kind of like what you were saying about wanting to express more authentically, I would say like climb above that and accept that you're not. So it's like, oh, this is who I am right now. You only think you should be different.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Wow. So, inside of the inside of the me thinking that I'm not being authentic and. So you're saying climb above that and even look at that and accept that. Yeah. So, so then where does that. So, now, now here's what I think of when you know when you're looking to the when you put two mirrors opposed to each other and you look down on them and it's an infinite number of visuals. So, that's what the climbing on top looks like to me right now when you said that is that is that, then I need to climb on top of that and look at that and climb on top of that, to get to a place of what were you were talking about earlier that you're just

Shaylee Edwards :

accepting it says this is.

Thomas DeSchutter :

There's no place to, oh, there's no place to be. I'm just here.

Shaylee Edwards :

And I think there's hesitation to do that because it puts you in time, like out of time in the present moment where there are things that may have to be felt that weren't comfortable before, or just there's just like there is sensation that has been withheld maybe emotionally or physically and whenever you aren't trying to get away from it, it's there. And so there is like this little bit of discomfort while you like let that. This is it. This is it. This is it. And kind of feel for what's present for you. Right.

Thomas DeSchutter :

You know, and I think some of that also comes from just the, the, again the order that we've created in our society of the idea of I need more stuff like that chase of, you know, my neighbor has this my neighbor has that I need to get this and so everything becomes outside of us, and it's a constant wheel of trying to get trying to get. So the idea of not trying to get the idea of just being is so foreign to us because we're raised in a culture in a society that says I'm supposed to go have this latest greatest newest thing is, and keep up with the Joneses all of that conversation of consumerism.

Shaylee Edwards :

Well I think that's interesting too because that same hamster wheel seems to apply to internal development as well. And so some of us are like, oh cool like I get it outside is nothing and then they go inside and they're like, but here I'll get it perfect here I'll get it right, this is the way it should be. And then they take that they, there's that separation again where it's like, over here, things are okay but over here they're not.

Promotion :

Wow.

Thomas DeSchutter :

So accepted surrendering fully present.

Shaylee Edwards :

And so it's beautiful about that, the idea of doing and getting then transitions from a place of need to that place of experience so you aren't in. You aren't you know cross legged somewhere humming, but you are engaging with in life without fear and so if you want to get something as for the experience of it not because of the way that you think it will make you feel, because your feelings are always available to you.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Hmm, the experience of it not how it's going to make me feel

Shaylee Edwards :

so it's like, I may need to get to this place internally so that I feel this I may get this relationship, this car this house so I feel that when you allow for all of that to be relative to a meaning that you have assigned yourself, then you can reassign that meaning to right now and experience those feelings of enough good and safe. And from that place when you act, what you're doing is expressing god you're expressing like you weren't just desire and motion, what do I want, and it's not what do I want because I need it's just what do I want, period. Question mark period

Thomas DeSchutter :

exclamation mark at the end of all that thinking with an exclamation mark I don't care what anybody says. So before we wrap up, Shelley Edwards. As always, it's an absolute thrill to dive into this stuff review. I'm curious you've been sharing a little bit about the new place that you have your material.

Promotion :

Is it

Thomas DeSchutter :

Pantheon

Shaylee Edwards :

close, this is actually this may be something great for your community as well I'm super excited about it and this is sort of what I've experienced like what you're about to witness is what I've been able to allow through my own acceptance, like this would be considered selling, but now it is just like actual expression because I have no objective I don't need to change anybody I don't need to get anything this is, and it's super exciting for me it is a platform that allows for videos to be organized in different ways. And beyond that, patrons sign up at tiers that they selected themselves at really accessible price points that have four different benefits so my first tier is just access to video so I've been doing a lot of discussions around identity and subconscious and awareness of awareness, so those will be available. And I'm going to theme them like exercise programming so like Monday being back and by Monday will be like beliefs around possibility. And that way each week can build on sustainably what has been done before without overwhelming, people who aren't spending, you know, six hours in a monastery each day.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Right. So this is Patreon pa T. Ro in Patreon.

Shaylee Edwards :

Yeah, it's I'm super excited I'm also one of the higher tiers has a community feature so they integrates with two different applications that allow for forums and community, and we met on Instagram and some of the other people that I've met just unbelievable. like, so excited to bring everybody together in that space.

Thomas DeSchutter :

And so you're building out So talk a little bit about. So like for example your, your first year offer every Monday where if it's possibility that discussion every Monday there'll be a new video on that or they'll just be a series of videos that they'll sign up for, and then they'll get that and it's over or is it an ongoing subscription where they will get constant new content.

Shaylee Edwards :

It's an ongoing subscription, and I'm, I'm also building out so if people aren't familiar with my work, I have this thing called habit book which is my riff on self development in a way that adds a tangible component so people can like see how their beliefs are shaping their lives or not and so I'll build out structures for people to query their life in a new way and as they do that new information comes in their beliefs start to change. So, usually their beliefs around what's possible for them and how great they are like nobody knows how great they are they're very aware of where they stuck but they're not very aware of where you are great. And so, I'm also offering tools each month to reinforce some of those concepts.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Right. And that's where you and I did some work and I realized how great I was at eating potato chips.

Promotion :

Yeah. So,

Shaylee Edwards :

just to bring some lightness to our conversation. There's a human could do a show of just stand up, although no one would believe it.

Thomas DeSchutter :

That's awesome. How else can people get ahold of you so how do they get how do they find you on that on that channel of Patreon.

Shaylee Edwards :

Right now, I'd say the best place to find me would be habit book.com that links to all of my social media platforms I'm very active on Instagram I have a YouTube channel and Patreon is also linked through that. And so, just in case anyone was looking for what I do, I offer customized bridges to self acceptance and self love, and before I had quote like sold that as will get you thinner, you can find the love of your life you can blah blah blah. And while those things to occur as a result of the work, it's mostly just a function of finally coming to love and accept yourself. And that just opens up every door.

Thomas DeSchutter :

Yeah, well I can attest, as a consumer of your social media and the work that you do that, you're you're a machine in a great and beautiful way just you constantly surprised me. And for anybody out there I think I will put in the show notes here, a link to the spatula video if I can find a way to link that for people, that is one of the best conversations. Do you remember what it was about I'm having I'm having a struggle right now about what the concept was but I mean let's see and I loved it and watch it a couple of times because it was so beautifully done.

Shaylee Edwards :

Thank you. I think I did a couple of one was about compassion for self and the other, and then the other one was about how to make or break any habit in five simple steps,

Thomas DeSchutter :

right, and it was the whole thing. It was like you were in shorts, with a spatula and a whiteboard, it was. Shelly, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta say goodbye now, because it's been it's been heavy. And it's been awesome. Any anything final oh I didn't want to share your, your quote. God is but love, and therefore so am I. Oh God is, but love and therefore "God is but love and therefore so am I," that's from A Course in Miracles. I think it comes back to that no judgment idea which kind of gives me peace I love and appreciate you so much thank you for joining me today. Thank you so much for having me Thomas always. Yeah, why does that speak to you so That's it. That's all it is. There's nothing else here What a great note to leave on anytime I can leave a show on the conversation with love. I think I've done it right. Thanks so much to you for tuning in and listening to today's show. This is the Blum living podcast. We hope you have yourself an amazing day. We look forward to having you join in again or maybe go back and listen to some of our previous episodes. And if you're so inclined, give us a shout out, give us a thumbs up, share it on social media, we'd really appreciate that. All the best. Stay blessed, not mistake.